键盘侠|该让莫兰特捡25次肥皂 换斯特恩直接拉他当众斩首|天天简讯

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重罚！官方：莫兰特停薪禁赛25场&回归需要满足特定条件

今日联盟官方宣布，禁赛莫兰特2023-24赛季前25场比赛。莫兰特将被要求满足一些特定条件（未公布）才能重返灰熊队，在停赛期间他没有资格参加任何公共联赛或训练活动，包括季前赛。

(资料图片)

美网友就联盟对莫兰特的处罚进行了广泛的讨论，以下是小编整理的部分美网友评论。

[–]THARMASTER 3 points 14 hours ago

Only 25 games??? But when I wield a gun at my local Walmart I get put in jail

球迷：才禁25场？？？之前我在沃尔玛超市也挥了下枪，我TM直接进监狱了啊！！

[–]altruisticdisaster 2 points 15 hours ago

This just means he’ll be executed during the suspension right?

球迷：所以我弱弱地问一句，这里说的禁25场的意思，是不是说，莫兰特会在禁赛期间被执行死刑啊？

[–]jrbcnchezbrg 2040 points 12 hours ago

Ja after the 28th game of the season

球迷：楼上的请看，下赛季打完28场比赛之后，莫兰特…是这样子的…

[–]daft_dunkwwwolfey. 408 points 10 hours ago

Ja celebrating only getting 25 with parole

球迷：听到自己仅仅得到25场禁赛，并且满足一些条件就能回来，莫兰特庆祝的样子…

[–]Rawkus2112 40 points 9 hours ago

Nah hes fucked. Thats a full offseason + a couple months. Theres no way he doesnt flash a gun somewhere on social media in that span

球迷：楼上的都懂什么？莫兰特啊，他完蛋啦！接下去整个休赛期+几个月都没事儿干，这段时间让莫兰特不在社媒炫枪？他憋得住吗？等着憋屈死吧他！

[–]Eaglewarrior33 13 points 6 hours ago

David Stern must be rolling in his grave right now. He would"ve given us the public execution we all wanted.

球迷：大卫-斯特恩听到这个处罚，躺在棺材里面又要被气得辗转反侧了~~这要是让斯特恩来罚的话，肯定会如咱们所愿，他会把莫兰特拉到菜市口给当众斩首的！

注：斯特恩是前NBA联盟总裁。

[–]gifcartel 1 point 2 hours ago

Daddy Stern wouldve pulled the trigger himself

球迷：费那事儿干嘛？要是让斯特恩来，估计他会亲自提着枪去把莫兰特给嘎了！

[–]Olympix[S] 1522 points 13 hours ago

I was expecting a public beheading at minimum

球迷：是啊！就这？我还以为这少说得来一个当众斩首啥的吧…

[–]kyozr. 54 points 9 hours ago

Get that ne’er-do-good, crackhead, hoodrat, thuggish, gangster boy out of the league

球迷：烦死了，赶紧快把这个废柴、脑残枪瘾分子、烂混混、暴力狂、黑社会从联盟里赶出去！！！

[–]Drawer85 16 points 8 hours ago

The funniest part is Adam silver acting like the sentence was something really big and manages to trick everyone.

球迷：最TM搞笑的是，之前萧华还搞得好像这个处罚会相当严重似的，结果处罚一出来，这家伙给垮得，把所有人的腰都给闪了…

[–]solarscopez. 9 points 8 hours ago

I thought Adam Silver would whip out his proboscis, drill it into Ja"s skull, liquify his brain and then sip it up like a caprisun pouch.

Shows how soft the NBA has become.

球迷：是啊！我以为萧华会抓住莫兰特，把嘴插进后者的脑壳里面，将脑仁给融化！接着一口一口把莫兰特的脑浆给嘬干！莫兰特的脑壳被萧华吸得跟个面口袋一样扁扁软软的！

[–]dthev25 921 points 13 hours ago

Must have been a mistype. Think he meant 25 seasons.

球迷：不对！这处罚公告肯定是写错别字了！肖华的原意应该是禁赛25个赛季~~

[–]heyitscool17 173 points 13 hours ago

25 life sentences

球迷：不对！原意应该是25辈子无期徒刑！

[–]legarrettesblount 57 points 12 hours ago

25 executions

球迷：什么啊！不应该是枪毙25分钟吗？

[–]IndycarFan64 18 points 12 hours ago

25 soap drops

球迷：弄死太便宜他了，我觉得应该是捡25次肥皂~~~

[–]AppropriatePack6759 99 points 13 hours ago

I feel like this decision wasn"t actually Adam Silver"s but a doppelganger sent by Ja"s shadow hood gang after they raped and killed his body and dumped it somewhere in Spokane. i have no source or whatsoever but I feel like what I"m saying is definitely true. Never always trust what the naked eye could see.

球迷：同志们，我严重认为这个处罚决定不是肖华本人做的！而是莫兰特背后的“暗影帮”把肖华抓了起来并强暴了他，之后杀掉他把他的尸体扔在了波肯市的某个角落，然后派了一个和肖华长得一模一样的人发布了这个处罚决定！虽然我没有确切的证据，但是我的第六感告诉我，我的猜测绝对错不了！劝你们不要始终相信眼睛所看到的一切！！

[–]Deksametazon_v2 34 points 12 hours ago

This message is sponsored by the Shadow Government

球迷：没错！这个处罚公告是经由“暗影帮”权力中心批准发布！

[–]8_bw 63 points 12 hours ago

Ja Morant has been warned that he can only flash a gun 25 more times before Adam Silver gets vewy angwy

球迷：大家有所不知，其实莫兰特已经受到了严重的警告！！他被警告，以后最多只能再炫枪25次，如若不然，肖华会灰常灰常地生气哒！

[–]Olympix[S] 457 points 13 hours ago

Adam Silver is a bigger THUG than Ja ever was just for hyping this up like crazy and delivering this mid suspension

球迷：肖华是个比莫兰特更混的混蛋！他之前把整个气氛烘托到爆炸，最后竟然搞了这么个不痛不痒的禁赛！

[–]SaulPepper 129 points 11 hours ago

"Oh no.. I cant say it now because the Nuggets wont get their attention hur hur"

Does three interviews saying the same thing instead of going mum, basically hyping this beheading

"I suspend Ja for barely more than quarter of a season sorry I know its too much, too bloody"

球迷：“不行不行！我现在还不能说！会分散掘金总决赛的注意力的！嘿嘿~~~”之前的三次采访，肖华每次都说了这相同的话，把气氛烘托到了要斩立决的地步！

最后却来了这么一出：“我决定了，我要禁赛莫兰特将近四分之一赛季哦！抱歉哈，我知道我知道，这样确实是有点太过分，太残酷了~~~”

[–]WalkingTheD0g1 137 points 13 hours ago

Pathetic. If the league cared at all about it this issue, they would have amputated both of his arms.

球迷：这处罚简直就是个悲剧！如果联盟真正看重这个事件，并且严肃处理的话，莫兰特的两只手估计要被截肢了！

[–]PM_ME_CHIPOTLE2 23 points 11 hours ago

I have to believe they at least secretly castrated him.

球迷：是啊！我只能劝我自己，告诉自己至少联盟应该是已经悄悄地把莫兰特给阉了，否则这公开处罚的力度是不会这么低的。

[–]george_costanza1234 58 points 13 hours ago

This bald fraud would’ve given Ron Artest a bonus and a blowjob for Malice at the Palace

球迷：阿泰斯特的奥本山宫斗殴事件要是让肖华这个死秃驴来处理，他估计得狠狠地奖励阿泰斯特，接着还嫌不够，给后者吹完一个箫才满意！

（当年的奥本山宫斗殴事件）

[–]ChiefKeef786 111 points 14 hours ago

Gilbert would have brought the guns out during a game in this era

球迷：如果阿里纳斯在当今这个联盟打球，他上场的时候，估计裤裆里至少有两把枪！

来源：Reddit

编译：河浪端